My child has curls, kinks and coils! What do I do?
The excitement of finding out you are going to be a parent is filled with so many emotions and questions. Will I be a good mom? Do I even know what I’m doing? Financially, can we afford this? Will the dog be jealous? The list goes on and on.
Once those emotions subside and it gets closer to meeting your precious baby, you start to wonder whose eyes they will have, if they will have their father’s head, your long toe or if your nightmare about them being born with a mouth full of teeth can actually happen?!
For some, you really don’t think about the hair until someone asks, “I wonder when her hair will change?” Some parents are aware as soon as the doctor says it’s a girl. As a curly hair specialist who has worked with moms from many different backgrounds and races, everyone has similar struggles and concerns about properly caring for their child’s hair. These five points should help set the basis for your journey. Yes, it is a journey……………Let’s Go!
1. Do not texture shame
Pay attention to your tone when speaking about hair with, or around, your child. Phrases like, “It’s just so much different than mine,” or “It is just so hard to manage” are unhealthy examples of negative talk about texture differences that will sit right in that self-acceptance bank. Be sure to make more deposits than withdrawals. Every person was born with a unique set of strands and it hurts to feel as if yours isn’t “normal” or not accepted regardless of how loose or tight the texture may be
2. Get the knowledge
Nowadays, you can Google just about anything or find a Facebook group on the topic. And let’s not forget about ol’faithful YouTube. If you are out and you see a child whose hair is looking great don’t be afraid to ask that mother what she does and who she goes to. That mother is you; make sure you share what you learn. Look for a professional who specializes in textured hair on Style Seat or Word of Mouth. There might be a workshop or even a simple consultation that could change the game.
3. Moisture is the answer to everything
All curls, regardless of the texture, require a level of moisture to be on their best behavior. A moisturizer is any product that contains water, such as leave-in sprays, leave-in conditioners, water itself, hair milks, hair lotions, etc. Curls Reparative Leave In is my favorite right now for daily moisture on any hair type. This range has a great selection of moisture-rich products that are staples in many curly girl’s hair regimens.
4. Detangle often and properly
Detangling always seems to be the part that brings on the water works for all parties involved. The best way to detangle is on wet hair that is saturated in your favorite slippery conditioner. Section the hair in workable sections using clips and work through each section at a time. The Denman D3 Brush has always been a must-have for curls. It glides through the hair without breaking the strands and can be used as an amazing shampoo brush to scrub the scalp.
5. Do not over-manipulate the hair
Touching curly hair too much causes frizz and breakage. Try to get a weekly wash routine, depending on the hair, and find the best style to last a week before having to take down and do it again. Sleep with a satin bonnet or satin pillowcase and moisturize as needed, but the simpler the better when it comes to curls, kinks and coils. The goal is to keep them moisturized, healthy and loved and they will thrive.
And don’t worry, you got this!
Use hair time as a positive bonding time for you and your child and enjoy the journey.
Sess Lee Curls, Master Textured Hair Stylist and Educator
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